The Source of Fear

She was laying in her yin yoga pose when she noticed a fear creep in.  A fear that had been with her for a very long time.  The deeper she went into her pose she didn’t back off.  She just decided to breathe. 

She asked the fear… “What are you trying to teach me?”

The fear responded…

“I am scared”

“Scared of what” she asked the tiny voice.

“Scared of being hurt”.

"Scared of being paralyzed."

“Scared of dying.”

“I want to move forward in my life, but I keep being pulled backwards”. 

“Who pulled you backwards?” she asked to voice of fear.

She didn’t know.

“Think harder” she was told.

She scanned her memories as a child.  One by one she went back in time to anything or anyone who might have made her slide backwards, pulled her down, yanked at her, pulled at her feet, or pulled her backwards.

Finally, she landed on a time when she was approximately 12 or 13 years old.  She was at a trailer park with her friend, and they were swimming in the lake.  Her friend could not swim, panicked, pulled her down and almost tried to drown her.  Her friend kept pulling her backwards under the water until she fought back, and swam away to safety. 

For many years she laughed off this incident as no big deal.  For many years her and her friend joked about how she almost drowned and tried to kill her.

But this was not a laughing matter.  Especially to that scared little girl at least.

That incident was the source of a lot of deep-rooted fear and pain that was implanted and embedded deep inside her body and mind.  This fear kept her from truly living her life.  The fear kept her stuck and paralyzed. 

It kept her scared of being hurt.

It kept her scared of dying.

It kept her worried that someone would do something to harm her.

It kept her worried for the safety of her own children.

It kept her hanging around people who hurt her and always brought her down.

It kept her carrying weight on her shoulders that wasn't hers to carry. 

Until she saw the fear, named it, and released it, that fear would have haunted her and kept her stuck in the same spot her whole life.

After she got to the root cause and the source of the fear immediately her body relaxed and the pain in her body was gone. 

Instantly a surge of energy was released from her tight hips and rose up out of her body.  There was a huge emotional release, a feeling of warmth in her abdomen, and tears started to flow as she felt the undigested pain.    She comforted herself and promised that this would never happen again and that she would no longer put herself in an environment with people who dragged her down.  She was no longer going to hang around people who thought she was disposable.

She saw how this one singular incident played out in how she saw herself and her own self-worth.  She deserved to be around people who she felt safe with.  She deserved people who supported her, protected her and who lifted her up. She deserved to be around people who thought of her needs too.

This deep-rooted pain was also the cause of her heavy menstrual periods.  This was a fear deeply embedded in her body.  It was a sign her body was telling her that it was time to let go of the toxicity, shed the negativity from her past and move forward confidently and courageously.  

She decided in that moment to let go.

She was ready to let the fear go, and even let her friend go too.  She was ready to move forward and be around those who were not dragging her backwards or pulling her back in life.

She wanted to be surrounded by happy, healthy, confident, and positive people from now on and she was finally ready to move on for she wasn't ever going to allow other people's fears, low energy levels, lack of confidence, and insecurities hold her back any longer.

She was going to rise and she was going to continue to shine.

It was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and she immediately felt lighter and more free.

She discovered her own self-worth.  She discovered her own healing power. 

She was now in full control and had her own life back. 

She knew exactly what she wanted, where she was headed, and there wasn't anything or anyone else that could stop her from achieving those big goals and dreams anymore.

Back then as a teenager she just tolerated many things in her life because she thought she had to.  She was worried she would have no friends and didn’t want to be alone.  She went back to people who were no good for her because she felt bad, or because she didn’t want to hurt people.  She kept going back until she finally learned the lesson that her body was trying to tell her for all these years. 

Now she didn’t need to go back and keep reinjuring herself.  She was free and liberated.

She no longer feels bad for letting people go who are not right for her and that includes family and friends.  She knows who she is.  She knows her value.  She knows her own worth and she holds herself to a very high regard, because she deserves the very best and she's worth it.  She’s her own best friend now and now chooses to live her life happy, healthy, and free. 

She now sees herself for who she really is.  She now chooses to embody a spirit of worthiness, strength, power, openness, positivity, wealth, health, beauty, class, success, infinite possibilities, confidence, courage, calmness, leadership, trust, and truth.

If you want to be part of a self-worth movement that helps people live happier, healthier, and more peaceful lives, join the Life Worth Living Challenge and let’s get started!  Go to www.lindsayrose.ca/liveyourlife to sign up today.

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